Fuck. Best way I can put it. I am and have been many things, but with the challenge of this day there are many things I hadn’t realized. The task was simple enough it seemed. That right there should have been my first warning as simple and Loki, well gas and match.
Today was a guided meditation, and to be able to do it I recorded myself reading the guides part and then with ear buds laid down in a room with a single candle as light, the one in the photo above, made myself comfortable, and began to play back the recording. Even though I had JUST read it through, I was not expecting the experience I had.
Perhaps the knocks to the head are catching up to me. Too many explosions in my life, too many time bouncing my head off of concrete. May be I’m finally starting to really lose my mind as all Asatru I’ve known have always said would happen. But I was there. It was real, and what I saw…
I could never have guessed it. You have to understand that the meditation makes you face personal truth as any other, but this particular one I thought I knew. And I did. A very very small part. As a soldier I was ready to lay down my life, but not for glory or honor or patriotism or anything like it. I did it for my family. To protect their way of life, their lives in the future. I fought so perhaps my children didn’t have to. That was then. I would and will always lay down my life for my family.
Reader, who or what would you die for? Anything, even yourself? Do you know? No I am not trying to be an asshole (it comes naturally), I want you to really think about that for a second. To try to understand what or who you would die to keep safe.
Now I ask you this; who or what would you LIVE for? Imagine being in the worst pain you can comprehend, would you fight to live? Why? For who or what? What would you be willing to endure for your beliefs, your home, your family if it meant that they would be safe? I understand that concept now of what/who would you live for. As someone with severe chronic depression that thought has gotten me through many days. But to suffer, to bleed or burn? I saw what and who I would do all the above for.
Who or what would you, dear reader, who or what would you?
Eight full days I have done this travel. I have experienced Loki in ways both familiar and new, laughter and tears. I have experienced the most common aspects faced when dealing with Loki. I complete the eight days as I write this, looking back. And I will honestly say this: If you have been Lokean for two days or two decades I truly recommend that you do this exercise as it is more than worth it. To reach the understandings I have, the different points of view, the new angles of thought, all I can say is HAIL LOKI!
A Trickster's Path 
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