Hatching Day 2014

So it is that time again, another full trip around the giant mass of incandescent gas, the gigantic nuclear furnace in the sky (thank you TMBG). Am I where I thought or even hoped that I would be? Nope. Not by a long shot.

I had thought that I would have had a book published by now, or a career of some sort. Never did I envision myself as disabled, or a vet, or a minister, or a fire performer. 10 years ago I would have thought none of this possible or even an option. Life right now is ripe with challenges, so aging kinda strikes me as at the bottom of that list.

I am a Lokean and part of that gig is accepting that change and chaos will always be constant companions, but how one looks at that depends on the individual. Is it a stumbling block or a lesson? Is it “Fuck, not again!” or “Ooooo something new!”?  I have had my share of trials and issues, and I have broken due to some. I remain cracked with missing bits even today. I know, I know, big shock there. But most of the time I do my level best to carry on and move forward. Some days I do, others I fall flat on my face.

Closing in on 40 I have to stop and think about what is truly important to me.  My amazing wife who stands by me, holds me when the night terrors are too much to bare, lets me have time where I don’t have to talk.  She is one of the greatest blessings in my life. My children, that I haven’t been able to see for almost two years are still in my heart and soul and I pray every day to Frigga to keep them safe. My friends, my spirit family, who are support and love. These things are what matter.

So what if I didn’t see myself as a Fire-dancing Veteran Pagan Minister.  It is where life has taken me. And this year looks to be good.

When it is your hatching day, remember to focus on what is around you. Let the day be a personal thanksgiving. And you are just as awesome as me, because fucker you survived!

Winter and Wonder

Let’s face it folks, winter is the slow time. It is the time when not a lot gets done and very few plans are made. Why is that I have found myself wondering. 

In the olden days (like the 50’s) people would gather around the fire and huddle for warmth and comfort. Share stories and life lessons as well as food. You would go to sleep to the sound of wind outside. Today, not so much.

Technology has eaten so many brains that it takes the place of honest interaction. People tweet pictures of accidents instead of calling 911 or trying to help. There is a new form of depression and anxiety linked to becoming unplugged. Even the world of gaming isn’t immune. Gamers used to be those imaginative geeks that would sit at a table for hours with pen, paper, and dice telling stories of a new type. Now the term “Gamer” has been co-opted by online MMORG and what-not. 

Dinner can’t be had without at least one phone or tablet at the table, and people get downright pissy if asked to do away with them. More fights start over tech than over failing grades in school.

Winter should be a time of rest and reflection. Not just the holiday season, but with so few fests, cons, events, and everything going on why not spend that time with family of blood and/or spirit?  Social skills are becoming a casualty folks. 

I am planning for the coming warm seasons. I already have two events that I am running and at the very least three more that I am going to. Here is my layout:

March: Birthday Gaming Marathon

April: Weekend long Loki’s Blot

May: Performing for Beltane at Texarkana and working at PUF

June: Running Pagan Men in the Woods in TN

July: Family Celebration

August: Dragoncon and Wedding Anniversary

October: Performing at Festival of Souls in Memphis, TN

So what is your excuse?  No time? Make it. No way? Find it. My little Folk, excuses will keep you safe. And secure. And bored. And lonely. Bear in mind I deal with depression, PTSD, and disability everyday. Some days it is a battle to get out of bed. But you know what? I do. I fight. Because there are people that depend on me. I have a wife that loves me and has faith in me. We make our own choices, and we ALWAYS have a choice. 

Take the winter and run. Run in the falling snow, build a fire, share a blanket and a hot drink with someone. Life is happening now. This moment. Why the hell are you still reading this?