A Look In The Mirror

As a Lokean, I am demanded to be honest with myself no matter how painful or damning or shameful. Loki requires us to have no illusions about who we are, what we are capable of, and what we see in our reflections.

But the question becomes, what if when we look in that mirror, all we can see about ourselves are lies? For some this is narcissism (to which I have been accused of to my own shock). For others like myself the reflection shows something hideous. And these things are so ingrained into the core of our being, into our sense of Self, how can we honestly be truthful with ourselves about the reflection before us? When all our lives descriptors like worthless, ugly, fat, stupid, useless, waste of space, nothing had been used by others often enough that it became ingrained into our self image. Told you will never succeed, never be loved, never be wanted, that you were a mistake. That you are twisted or evil or damned just for what you believe in. How does that not color our reflection, become part of our identity?

I have personally been told these things and more, not just by peers but family as well. To this very day my own Self Image is lower than dirt, my self esteem near non-existent. Self confidence? Very damn little. Yet I am Lokean and look in the mirror everyday, see these things, see a twisted horrid creature staring back at me. I can’t help it. I have had years of having it beaten into me. No, I don’t want any pity. It has shaped who I am now.

How many others see the same, heard the same? How many reading this right now identify with it to the point you are nearly in tears? Being shamed for just existing. Used, abused in every conceivable way, and tossed aside like trash. How can such people see anything in their reflection other than what they have been conditioned to see?

Because choice, that is how. We may never see worth in ourselves, in our reflection. I know that I will always see the twisted horrid monstrosity when I look into my mirror. But I have learned that even though I can’t see past them, that they are that deeply ingrained, they are illusions. Glamours of hatred placed by the cruel and spite-filled. Now don’t misunderstand, I have my flaws and some of which are significant and I own that. When I make a mistake I own it. I step up and say I fucked up.

Another way to grow past and realizing what you see are lies is to use a different mirror. Use the eyes of those you KNOW love you. Look into the reflection there for it is there you will find truth. You will be able to see past the lies. And in the moment that happens, well you will begin to find many many things you thought impossible coming to pass. Maybe never to an amount of a “normal” person, but happening none the less.

For those who know me outside the virtual world and in the real one, that confidence some have seen? The self assurance? A mask created by survival instinct and longing. Fire performance and no confidence or esteem? Yup, a mask. When I dance with flame alone or with just a safety it is much different than dancing with an audience.

But how? How did I find this capacity? From Loki. The outcast, the odd man out, the one that was always the scapegoat. I learned that illusions can be pierced. I learned that there is resilience and strength in all of us, we need only find it. I am learning that I don’t HAVE to go through things alone. And these are lesson any can learn.

Yes, to some I will always be the Villain who plots the downfall of everything. The monster that will devour any who get in the way. And you know what? They aren’t wrong. There are instances when I will be both of those things and proudly, because it is needed. I can be and am a Villain. I can be the monster. Come after me or those I love and there is no wrath like the wrath of a Trickster.

Loki has taught me a great many things of the course of years. Lessons that any who would look into the mirror and see only disgust could learn, if they followed Loki or not. Find your strength. Find you resilience. You are going to get knocked down. You can either stay down or you can rise once more. Yes it is exhausting. Yes it is draining. No it isn’t easy and never gets easier. But that reflection in your mirror? It will start to change a bit. You will notice you stand a bit straighter. You’re a little less disgusted. A little less ashamed.

So what does your reflection hold?

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Losing My Mind, Finding My Soul

So this might be on the shorter side. I have been doing what could be considered communing with my Patron, hoping and hoping to get a clue of where to go next. My altar to Loki is set up and I like it. I don’t change it for the seasons, I make offering now and again, and will on occasion say a prayer. BUT everyday I will stop, lay my hand on the altar, and say thank you to Papa and the Rökkr for another day of life. Every. Day. Just two simple words and in that moment I will open my heart to that dedicated and sacred place. And I can feel Him, or at least a part of Him, with me.

And not long ago I was slammed with a deluge of requests from making my own staff to going through the Ordeals of the Nine Realms. I have been feeling two steps to the left out of synch with everything else for awhile now. It is starting to dawn on me that I am meant to be there, that I have been trying to hold center, but it isn’t my natural state. And that natural state is part of what I believe I will (re)discover, along with many other things.

I have started a journal because when this journey began, it was a slow thing starting with the Breaking and leading up to severing of ties and rededication to Loki. Now the “messages” (because I don’t get spoken to directly very often) have been coming consistent and I can’t keep up with them in my head so I have started writing them down, and thankfully I have a rather decent time limit once I begin. I must finish healing first.

I have mobility back. Pain remains but lessened. I have lost stamina and strength and must get them back. I have great list in the journal and have a feeling that it will be added to in the weeks to come. I will be pushing myself harder than ever I have save once and I don’t know what will die, what will remain, who will emerge.

I know this finally. I do not have to walk alone.

Possibilities

So many in our age from scholars to Brosatru have made statements that indicate the belief that Ginnungagap is a void, that which swallows everything. They want to think of it like the Nothing from Neverending Story (if you don’t know the reference I feel sorry for you). A black unfathomable hole that would swallow everything if it could. An outlook, I feel and think, that is perhaps subconsciously motivated by the instinctual fear of the unknown.

And yet, it was from Ginnungagap that all realms would eventually come to be. It is not a void, an endless space. It is pure and absolute creation without form or structure. It is the chaos which gave life to the spark from Niflheim and Muspelheim thus was Ymir created. Dig deep enough into the lore and you find that Ginnungagap is Chaos. Primal Creation. That from which all life sprung. Endless potential. But why is it always thought of as a black void? I have given that more than a little thought, and I think that perhaps I have an answer. An answer that any high school science or art teacher can give you. When you take all colors of the spectrum and mix them together you get black. Black, deep and endless. Black is not the lack of color, but the result of EVERY color.

As mortals we are at the mercy of our natural rhythms that come from millennium of evolution, and yet we are one of the MOST adaptable species on this planet, on this plane. As we have progressed we have quit trying to tap into that primal source and have only been utilizing one or two things. We are meant to evolve and change, but does that mean we forget the other parts that make us? Yes our intelligence has grown, and so has our greed. Our compassion as a species has withered. Where once the natural world had a certain harmony with us, this is no longer the case. And spirituality? Only really within the past few generations have people started to question and become seekers again.

Mental health is still looked at as a disease. Addiction as a choice. A woman’s body something to be regulated. Education dictated by those that think the world is only 2000 years old. People are dying because they can’t afford to get the care they need. Our oceans are so polluted that it is absolutely disgusting. The great wild place grow smaller every single day. And we have adults that can name each Kardashian but have no clue who won the civil war in the United States. Yup. We are really fucking advanced.

I have chosen to follow the older ways, and I mix with that lore and stories modern thought. I read into the tales and beneath the words to the emotions to the meaning found there. I read actual historic accounts (not just Vikings on the History channel) and learn about the people that lived then, how they lived, what is known of their lives.

And to any Neo-Nazi, Alt-Right, Far Right, Flag Waving Hate Mongers, Proud Boys, Wolves of Vinland, and numerous other hate groups: By all means let me see you using the symbols of my beliefs. You see the Asatru are bound by Honor. Vanatru tend toward peaceful outcomes. I, however, am Rökkatru. I am Lokean. I will TAKE back MY symbols with a flaming aluminium baseball bat (because recycling). The Nazi Party already destroyed a symbol of unity. Freedom of speech does not protect from incitement and using symbols sacred to my belief tends to incite me to violence. So by all means, march, shout your hate, scream your foul rhetoric. Don’t be surprised when you are beat down.

Because Ginnungagap. Black. Creation. Even the old Nordic folk knew the value of the heart, not the skin. Knew the value of potential and that difference added to the whole, not destroy it. Everyone want to scream about their cultures. First, ‘Murica, you don’t really have a true culture outside of holidays and persecution. The real true Americans are forced onto reservations and live often in rather sad conditions, but have HELD their culture despite trying to have it wiped out by White people.

I have chosen the path of my ancestors, because it called to my heart and felt the right place for me to be. I was called to Loki as my patron because He holds my spirit, and through him I follow the Rökkr. I am not afraid of the darkness, the twilight, the Chaos or change. Yes, it can be painful. It WILL leave scars.

And in spite of my mental demons I wake everyday. I acknowledge that each new day is one which has the potential for nearly anything to happen, and endless possibilities. You don’t have to rich to travel. You don’t NEED the latest tech, though you may WANT it. I have seen and done a great many things, and I am far far from monetarily wealthy. But when an opportunity comes, a chance arrives, there are times I can overcome my issues and force myself to take them. No, it doesn’t always work and sometime it fails in the most spectacular way. Lesson learned and a new story to tell. But the point is I do not know what each day will bring into my life. And every evening I try my best to remember to go to my altar and give thanks for the day I was given.

So. Today. Will you go outside and go for a walk, see some wildlife and be astounded by the beauty? Will you curl up and listen to rain while reading a book? Will you go to work and be miserable? Will you get a phone call with news that will leave you in tears? Will you buy a winning Lotto ticket? Will you find love? Will it be your last day on this plane? I don’t have a fucking clue, why are you asking me?

Potential. Possibility. One of the best reasons to wake up. And that thing that scares the shit out of you? That unknown factor? Chaos. Embrace it and ride the storm or sink and be swallowed. Plenty of room on this ship for those who want it.

Thurisaz – La violence

This has some wonderful insights into the lore and into the Runes, especially Thurisaz.

Soothing Chaos

La confrontation, l’opposition, l’affrontement, les ennemi.e.s, l’impact, le choc, la frappe, la surprise, la stupeur, la violence, la brutalité, les armes, la bombe, les éclairs, le tonnerre, l’épine, le coup de foudre

Il y a trois sortes de violence. La première, mère de toutes les autres, est la violence institutionnelle, celle qui légalise et perpétue les dominations, les oppressions et les exploitations, celle qui écrase et lamine des millions de personnes dans ses rouages silencieux et bien huilés. La seconde est la violence révolutionnaire, qui naît de la volonté d’abolir la première. La troisième est la violence répressive, qui a pour objet d’étouffer la seconde en se faisant l’auxiliaire et la complice de la première violence, celle qui engendre toutes les autres. Il n’y a pas de pire hypocrisie de n’appeler violence que la seconde, en feignant d’oublier la première, qui la fait naître, et la troisième, qui…

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Ripples In The Water

TW/CW: Sex, Violence, Blood, Pain, Self Harm, and more

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The smallest stone. A touch. Anything really. Anything that can break that fragile surface tension can send the inevitable concentric ripples spreading outward. But the how far the do the ripples travel? I have been on the shore of a lake when quite a distance away a child was splashing in joy. Some moments later the water began to lick at my toes where it had been perfectly calm. And we see the ripples, can feel the effect even when the ripples fade.

Everyone knows that, so many are familiar with the “butterfly effect” idea. But I have begun to wonder, is it only on the surface? What if that displacement effect happens the entire way down into the darkness? What could it stir up in the depths? What does it find at the bottom? Stone or silt or mud and muck?

Some of us are liken to the surface, we feel the impact and the ripples which seem to fade over time. Yet there are MANY of us that just simply aren’t that shallow and every little stone raises the level of the depths, every touch can have unseen effects far far away.

Abuse is a stone thrown into our waters over and over and over, each time changing the underlying geography, the ripples affecting the surface of our lives for years. How many of us haven’t been struck in years, but will still flinch when a hand is raised? How many shut down with loved ones because someone we loved once used that to take what they wanted? How many are hypervigilant to the point of headaches from being constantly aware of your environment?

What has this got to do with your Blog, your Journey some of you might be asking. You see, it is part of my path to not only accept that certain things happened, but to face them directly. Allow myself to feel the hurt, pain, grief, fear, outrage. Often more than one at a time and there is no time limit. Time does NOT heal all wounds, only grows scars that hurt less. Like an arthritic knee when a thunderstorm is rolling in. And I look at those scars, touch them, feel the texture, accept the ugliness of them and the proof that they show I survived, and that is the beauty. Ugly and beautiful at once? Yes, very much so like so many things found in nature. Google “Corpse Flower” as an example.

The abuse that left the scar was but a stone, now settled and a part of who I am. A story to remember, the scar a thing to touch and remember. Our deepest parts are shaped by those stones, the touches causing ripples even down to the bottom. It is up to each of us to live our life as the geography of those sharpened, broken, heavy stones or as the depths themself, flowing and deep and rising above the jagged pain. It will always be there, a part of us, always felt. But our choice is to strive to live as the water surrounding the stones, not to try to be the stones themselves.

And some of those ripples and splashes? Amazing things which also raise up our surface! Beautiful moments that change us for our entire life and we are never the same after. Just as we are shaped by trauma, so to can we be shaped by wonder. Like when you hear the first calling of your spiritual path. For me that path has led me to both places so beautiful all I can do is silently weep and to places where I wanted to run screaming from in abject terror. Some of these vistas were within my own soul.

What do I mean? Well, for those of you who follow this blog and have been reading for awhile know about me, but in the event this is the first one you are reading… I am a 44 year old married while male. I have recently come to realize that I am Demisexual as my emotions can and will overwhelm all other things. I am Lokean/Rökkatru and have been for quite some time, walking the Nordic path most often solitary, on occasion with others. I am getting to the point of yelling at people to “Git off my lawn or I’ll set you on fire!” If you want to know what any of the above means, please feel free to go and look it up or look at past blogs.

Now onto the explanation. You see there were parts within myself that took me a rather long time to come to terms with, to accept. Hel, even to understand honestly. I was abused. Yes, that way. I have been used, been loved and hated. I have tricked and been tricked. I am not innocent. I have blood on my hands and know for a fact that I have an easier time taking a human life than I do an animal’s. I am a father and have been blessed to bear witness to the miracle of birth. I have saved lives both animal and human. I have slain the being of the woods for sustenance. I have been called “silver tongue” and “charismatic” yet my self image is nowhere near such things. I look into a mirror and see a monster reflected back. I have manipulated people, and probably will again. I refuse to judge others for their choices in their lives unless those choices endanger me or mine (hence, why I am all for punching Nazi’s and more). I have… hungers long unsated because of the choices I have made. I have side that has long been kept in check that is Primal and Predatory, but not as in sexual predator as consent is paramount to me (and no, drunk/stoned consent doesn’t count). My longings for the flesh in the way I desire may very well never be able to be met. That which I crave in body, may never be able to be. To run again, to feel free and breathless surrounded by old growth woods. The warmth of flesh and blood chased down and caught. I also long to be a spiritual being, to be close to my Patron God and to be worthy of the love of my wife and children. I have made very right and wrong choices, put trust in those that I shouldn’t have and found those that have earned it, I have paid my prices. And I will pay more still. I have and still on occasion think about stepping through the Veil. I won’t. But the thought is always there, and I choose not to listen.

Sex shouldn’t be feared. Nor should Death. Or Life. There is plenty to be afraid of, but none of these things. If you are lucky you find love in your life, and have it returned. Change is the nature of things folks, chaos IS the natural order and original source of creativity. So be true to yourselves, be who YOU are and don’t hide. Judgement by supposed family? Tell them fuck off. Either you are loved for you or you are being loved for a mask. Friend saying that you aren’t acting like yourself? Maybe you are for the first time in your life. The outside can change, even the inside because that is the greatest gift humanity has other than free will; the ability to change and adapt.

So on this journey I’m on I am slowly peeling away each of my masks. Getting closer to my Truth. I am both terrified and exhilarated by what I may find. Deeper and darker I go, new scars are made and blood is shed. Markings of devotion set to flesh and devotions made. And when I find the true core of my Who? Well, then I will know and I am going to make some ripples of my own. In this day and age a single voice can easily get lost in a crowd, but a whisper in the right ear? That, my lovies, that can change the face of a world. Couple that with those that have had enough and well I’ll have the popcorn ready for the show.

Does that sound bad? Wrong? Evil? Do I care? No. Because just like each of you I am a creature of duality. And it is past time to blow some shit up, shed some blood. The moment a car was driven into peaceful protestors and a young woman lost her life, “nice” no longer applies. When half way around the world twenty-two lives are taken simply because of what they believe? Nope, no more peaceful times. With fire and blood let the Tower crumble, those who would hide in it pulled out and shown the pain they have caused.

I know, I know. You’re just being emotional. Yup. I certainly am. But I am tired, like so very many of you are tired. Senseless death through every media outlet. Sorrow and poverty around the world. Our animal kin being sent into the after to the last, never to be seen on this side of the Veil again. Humans IN THIS AGE selling one another into slavery. Women being told that their bodies aren’t their own then shamed when unable to provide without help. Or die. People dying because they can’t AFFORD medicine or medical treatment. And people wonder why I say things like “Let it all burn”.

Let us become our truest selves, honest to our natures. Unless you asked for it, throw off your collars (don’t kink-shame). Snap your leashes. Break the chains. And let’s be bad guys.

Walking Along

Often blogs are all about huge and major topics. From pagan people especially as there is a LOT to be said, to be shared, to fight for and against. So very many people are just stepping onto their paths, fresh and new and so many questions. Full of hope and wonder that the potential for magic is real and there is more out there than they ever dreamed possible. The rituals they find to attend at the High Holidays are so very powerful and spiritual.

But what about the next day? That return to mundania as so many like to put it. Here is where so many become lost. The everyday, the work week, the chores at home. Where is the spirituality? Where the magic? And people begin to live for those Holidays, for Festival or their favorite event. In the case of yearly events, these are people that become near family that you see once a year. And leaving is a sorrow filled thing as you have to return to everyday life, interact with the normal world and regular people.

Many of us have altars in our homes, and that is grand if you do. I do. My wife does. These are wonderful focal points for the spirit in the home. Yet not everyone can have one. The soldier on the move. The single parent trying to make it in a one bedroom and living paycheck to paycheck. The homeless wanderer that carries their life on their back. What of them? What of the teenager that feels the call of Wicca in a Catholic home?

That’s the rub. All these things, from prayers to spells to altars are all just tools. Do they make things easier to do? Yes. But whose hands arrange the altar and imbue it with power? Whose lips speak the prayers that reach Divine ears, and what empowers those words? We do. Faith, belief, and will send these things into the universe and ties them as bridges between us and all else.

There is absolutely NO REASON you cannot have that everyday, even for a few moments. We decide our closeness to the divine everyday. We each decide our path and how to walk upon it. The real spiritual Truth? That is the greatest secret of all. Each person’s Truth is their own. And it can be malleable! It is capable of changing and growing as new information, new experiences are introduced into our lives. Your way may not be My way and that is perfectly fine.

We carry with us the divines in our hearts, in our actions, in our deeds. Everyday may not be a High Holiday, a Festival, or a Gathering and it doesn’t have to. Take a moment just for yourself and MAKE that moment sacred. Even if it is just a moment, it can be all it takes. Even if all you do is think of your path and say “Thank You”. And remember those times, those gatherings, in that moment and let those feelings wash over you.

We walk along our respective paths everyday. How we do it is up to us.

Observations and Ramblings VII

My O and R blogs tend to be a chance for me to vent about various things and if I am feeling like it, to let down the walls a bit.

That being said, usually it is about things or trends I have seen within myself and society in general. On occasion, I will go off on a tirade to just vent and to let some things out on you poor readers. Over sharing or simply just letting it out. In my writing, as in my life, do I rarely allow real anger or hurt or frustration out. The reason for this is part of my being non-neurotypical, I know very well all that I am capable of (read into that as you will, you most likely wouldn’t be wrong), and I must be vigilant.

Now that being said, I write these for my own needs and if you get offended I believe the term is sorry not sorry. Continue reading as you will, if you want, and be aware that this one is going to be broken down into various sections.

Pagan Community: As a whole and from the outside for those that are drawn to it, it is a chance at fellowship and freedom. A chance to connect on a spiritual level that calls to the soul in a way that no other way can. Be it Heathen, Wicca, Druid, or and of the myriad other paths, when you find the fit to your soul it resounds loud and clear. Yet what so many are unaware of is the predatory nature of some within the community, those hungry for power or recognition, attention or titles instead of the spirit and the teachings. They are out there and I personally have seen and been taken in by them. And let’s not even get started on the ones that claim a Pagan path in order to be sexual predators under the guise of spirituality. Yes, sex is part and parcel of some paths and there is nothing wrong with that. I am talking about those in positions of power using that to coerce and demand sexual favors from members/initiates of their various groups. Consent is given, yes, but consent under duress… that isn’t real consent folks. And the cliques! Holiest of craps! Paganism is supposed to be inclusive, but so often it seems like a “Good Old Boys Club” (pardon the masculine expression), that someone new will never feel truly a part of a group unless they form their own. Inclusiveness is given lip service and on the surface is really tried for, but you will see it in large gatherings. Eventually different groups will break off and be suspicious of any outsider, granted never outwardly hostile, but still a new person will be made to feel uncomfortable. All the leads me to BNP’s. Big Name Pagans (or Big Nosed Pagans as you are inclined). I have met some that are absolutely amazing and I would sit for hours with just to listen to their wisdom. I have also met others that are complete shams that have let the recognition go to their heads. What I am getting at is that the Pagan Community definitely has its shadow side and if you believe otherwise you are either willingly blind, new, or…. well, yeah. And no, I am NOT talking about Left Hand Path in all this though they are and can be included as part of the community in whole.

Heathens: Nine Noble Virtues. Ancestors and the Nine Realms. The pack mules and muscle in Paganism, or at least how many treat them from the outside. If you are a follower of the Norse Paths, you must be willing to labor all day long and have more muscle than brain. Oh you don’t need recognition for your work, the work well done is reward enough. Bullshit. Gratitude goes a long way, and when you decide to take your Heathens for granted you will find them suddenly nowhere to be found. Heathens, your Kindreds tend toward elitist for fear of mixing Wyrd and having it “tainted”. You tend to shun any that follow any but the Aesir, and when they are allowed in you keep them to the fringes at arms length. As a whole in the United States you have let our sacred symbols slip into the hands of white supremacists by not keeping an eye out to begin with over the years. You CANNOT tell me that before this circus of a presidential cycle empowering the hatred and fear mongers Heathens didn’t know. I call bullshit. There were plenty of Kindreds out there that were Folkish and they were ignored. Those that spoke against them were ignored. NOW everyone is getting mad that our sacred symbols and runes are being co-opted by hate groups. Some groups Like the Troth and Hugnin’s Heathenhof are being truly more inclusive and Declaration 127 was a wonderful thing. But where are the shield walls standing against the marching Proud Boys? Those standing up and saying “This Hammer Smashes Fascists?” I’m not saying they aren’t there, but the silence is deafening. Pissy memes aren’t going to work.

Lokeans and Rökkatru: Oh… Now this is my path. For so very long I was a solitary and am again except virtually. And what I have seen online is beyond upsetting. Those who claim to follow Loki yet demand there is a right and wrong way to follow Him. Instead of banding together and seeking understanding from fellow outcasts, people get angry and turn into online high school shouting matches. I personally don’t care who is fucking right or wrong, get your shit together! We follow a shapeshifter that can appear as he will and if you don’t think that a God that tied his balls to a goat just for a laugh isn’t a touch into kink, take your puritan ass and sew your lips shut. We follow the Twilight Deities of the Norse Tradition, the Left Hand Path of Heathenism, and a Trickster. If you cannot tolerate some differences than I suggest another, more structured path. I hear Christians are always recruiting. We walk a path where we have to read between the lines of all the lore and tales. We have to pay attention to what isn’t said, and UPG (gasp!) plays an important role in our fairly new tradition. Yes there are those that have written about the subject, but they aren’t many and not always easy to agree with. And when it comes to the white supremacists our path is a bit more lacking in those numbers, but we are just as guilt about not standing against them. Where are the Children of Fenrir who would stand against those that would see others in chains? Where are my Lokeans that would fight those that would silence the Truth? Where are the Followers of Surt, ready to burn away the prejudice? We are the followers of the Jotunar, those who came before, and yes we are outsiders. But we are gathering and growing in number, however unless we get our collective shit together we will always be a laughing stock. For those of you trying to change this, I salute you and give you my thanks.

Have I pissed anyone off yet? Good.

In my life I have known loss, failure, pain, betrayal, love, joy, and much much more. I have spent some days away from social media and even personal messages. Short of texting or phone calls, I’ve limited my contact back to a less digital way. My life has been exceedingly busy on the mundane side of things and I haven’t been able to write as much as I would like. And that makes me wonder just how many will make it to this point in the blog. You see, our biggest enemy isn’t the proud boys or the predators or the fears of the outside world. This medium is grand for the spread of information (or misinformation), but in real life the everyday apathy I see is disheartening to a degree that is shameful. The “Not My Problem” syndrome this nation has developed is disgusting.

How do you fight for the better world? As a Pagan, how do you make sure you are being truly inclusive? Heathens, how many of you actually follow the Nine and have read the Havamal? Lokeans, how the fuck can you be judgemental when we have been judged for years just for the God we chose to follow?

I am a (mostly) straight white cis male, 44 years old, married, children. I have followed my path for over two decades. That’s over 20 years people. You think that I don’t know about discrimination? Not for my skin or sexual preference, but because I am not quiet about my beliefs I have lost jobs, lost out on opportunities, been turned away for VOLUNTEER WORK, refused entry into establishments, been harassed by neighbors and communities, been called satanist by police, even refused promotion and recognition in the military. I’ve been on the receiving end of violence. At this time I am disabled for various problems, and don’t want or expect pity.

No, there is no way I can understand the discrimination faced daily by other humans considered People Of Color, Women, or those of a different sexual preference. I am not trying to belittle or lessen their discrimination in any way. I have a SMALL understanding of it, and will do all I can to fight against it.

If you are a Leader, set the example and walk your talk. Show people the way and live what you speak, be there for them and if you claim Priest or Priestess in any form in any path, apathy should not be a part of you. If it is, drop the title and turn solitary, make way for someone that actually cares. Everyone is screaming for a better world, a better place in it.

But so few are willing to get their hands in the soil and get dirty.