This is likely to be a shorter than normal than post as weariness is weighing heavy tonight.
I have been releasing a lot of poison and vitriol of late in a lot of varied ways. Spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. And while I walk a Twilight Path in my spirituality, some things have happened in my own life recently to bring great and painful change. I have to HAVE TO believe it is to prepare me for what lies ahead.
The average person tends to think that Lokeans and followers of Loki have no or little moral compass, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. While yes, as I have stated before, there are those that would use Loki’s name and path as an excuse for assholish behavior, the rest of us are stuck with this stigma. From the outside our compass seems to just spin. It is because it doesn’t just show us, it pulls us. And if you aren’t the one holding it, you wouldn’t know that. We have honor, just our own type. We are creatures of Loyalty though and once given takes something of truly great insult to break that.
We are truth speakers who speak only once all sides are heard, even while others readily take us for the worst on the words of others without speaking to us. And that is their choice. Long ago I learned that many just do not want to hear the side of the Lokean, because our motives most often aren’t understood. And that is fine, that is their choice and I will never hold that choosing personal so long as it isn’t made to be.
Del Tashlin said it very well in the writing, “On The Responsibility Of Being Lokean” and while I would not quite agree on some minor parts I think that has more to do with personality and UPG than anything else. Those of you who are familiar with my own views can probably see where. But there is a HUGE responsibility being the follower of a perceived “Evil” deity. We have to be worth twice our word. Work twice as hard to uphold our beliefs. To check ourselves twice as often on motives.
And I grow tired. Tired of shouldering other peoples expectations of what Lokean is. Tired of being to blame for all that happens to go wrong just because I was walking by. Tired of being told my Wyrd is tainted because I choose to dedicate to Loki. Yes, necessary destruction is a real thing. Yes, change is needed and it requires a spark sometimes. And I am tired of apologizing for following my path and locking away parts of myself for the comfort of others. Loki may be chained still (for now), but I am not. Nor will I be.
I am Lokean and a proud devotee of Loki! I will bring change and chaos and destruction where it is needed, and if you invite me in, that is the Wyrd I will bring with me. If it doesn’t need to be broken, it won’t be. In fact it will most likely be nurtured and helped to grow. If you stand in the way of that growth, not my fault. Not any more. So with respect to those who deserve it and a hearty fuck off to those that don’t, I will no longer fit myself to your expectations. And I will do all these things from the Rokkatru path with loyalty, self awareness, and even a form of honor.
Most supposed Heathens follow the Nine Noble Virtues about as well as supposed Christians follow the Ten Commandments. How many even know the Rede of Honor? What about the Rules of the Rokkr? I do. Ask and I may tell you. You may not understand the answer, but I may tell you.
Careful though, it’s dark here and I no longer carry a light for others. Follow or don’t.
Bound until the end of days, for daring to speak truth. For showing the cost of arrogance. Innocents killed to punish their father. A torture set to punish for the entire sentence. One, only one, who would stand by and help as they could. Yes, I’m speaking of Loki whose thrashing brings earthquakes. But look at the set of things before that and how often do these things happen across the world? In the past? In this very time within the United States?
And none are safe, not just Lokeans. We face threats from within our own communities, but usually only in the form of shunning. In the United States there are still children being turned out onto the streets because they are LGBT+. Missouri is on the “Do Not Stop” list if your skin is too dark. The cry of “MAGA!” has become a rallying cry of fear and hatred. Prisons are now a major for profit industry. The foundations of this Nation aren’t crumbling. They are being sold to the highest bidders. I mean even police are no longer trusted.
But as Lokeans, at least through my eyes, we hold a responsibility that can no longer be ignored. We are the agents of change, bringers of chaos that would destroy that which holds back growth. Fear is a powerful tool, but should we be afraid of those that are supposed to look out for us? The groups that spew Hate and Prejudice like to use the dark to make themselves feel safe, carrying fire like a group of villagers hunting a monster, and daring to profane sacred symbols of the Norse as something to empower themselves. Perhaps it is time to remind these groups why the dark was something that was feared. That the monsters no longer fear fire and yelling.
Can you imagine a group of Proud Boys marching to disturb a rally for LGBT+ youth, turning a corner, and meeting a sheildwall of Rokkatru? Westboro goes to picket a fallen soldier and an honor guard of silent Jotunkin spearfolk stand in protection. We all joke about such things, but imagine if it were reality. No, I am not advocating violence! But to defend yourself? By all means! Let them scream Freedom of Speech. It doesn’t cover inciting.
I’m tired of hearing take the higher road. Turn the other cheek. Being quoted “the Golden Rule”. We have reached a point where it is being taken advantage of and used against people. Authority figures from local to federal levels are counting on these things paired with apathy and self-interest to keep power. People in their homes saying “It doesn’t affect me, why should I care?” Because it does. Sure, obvious targets at first. The misfits and outsiders. Foreigners here for your jobs and children. Gay teachers in schools subverting your children. That girl whose skirt was too short and Jimmy Jock the Quarterback couldn’t help himself. And these are only a few of the DAILY atrocities that still happen.
I get it. I do. Anxiety, Depression, and many other neuro-divergent conditions quite literally keep some of us from speaking out as was pointed out to me. I would like to say I myself suffer clinical Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, and PTSD. So leaving my front door is difficult at the best of times, and physical impediments as well. I have a family whose livelihood would be worse if something happened to me. I can also not just stand by any longer.
I don’t know about you, but those chains are old. Getting weaker. And earthquakes are growing stronger all around the world. The Redhead is stirring more and more, and there’s debts to pay. Modern Heathens I put this to you. Are you truly Heathen? Will you stand against true Evil? The last hammers I saw at a white supremacist rally were being worn by those spouting hate.
Lokean and Rokkatru, what of you? Will you let those who our spirit kin suffer and possibly die? The misfits turned out just for being different? Would you see those bright lights fade from Midgard? Or will you rise, not for yourself, but for another? Would you? Not everyone is built or wired for that I know. But do what you CAN. Quietly boost signals, read and learn and share knowledge with those you trust that can pass it on. Anonymously write stories, poetry, songs that can stir the fires in others. We might be broken, but that doesn’t make us incapable. It make us resilient and survivors.
Many of us have lived through horror, the worst humanity has to offer. And many of us had no one with a bowl to catch the dripping venom. And we carry those scars with us forever. Forever. We can learn to live with them, but they don’t go away. But if you could spare just a single person one of those scars wouldn’t you?
Sigyn will soon enough help her beloved out of that cave. And if his thrashing caused earthquakes, what will the steps of a betrayed Father do? What of the siblings that lost their youngest brothers? Can a creature not know loyalty and love? Sigyn is a Giantess and by definition a foe of Asgard. Yet she is worshiped as a Goddess of Fidelity. I ask you this then; if Loki was truly that evil how in all the universe could he inspire the loyalty and love of such a Goddess?
There are those that would argue that our God is chained to a rock and can’t communicate with us. I tend to just laugh and shake my head. He’s a God, far older than many are willing to admit. And the chains are forged from those of his own flesh and blood. His magik was never bound, nor his power else the angry thrashing wouldn’t cause the quakes. And while he may be a member of the Aesir, Loki is Jotun. It isn’t their voices that shake the earth, but their steps. And as they pass it will once more be safe for a Realm of the Honeyed Moon.
So be clever. Be sly. Be patient. And be ready. We are gathering.
Loki, God of Mischief. God who caused the death of Beautiful Balder. God who is a shapeshifter and know for his cunning. Trickery and laughter and madness. Loki, God of Fire. And through fire it was how I found communion with Him, could feel him close and so very strong next to me.
But time and tide will catch all of us, especially those of us that were hard on our bodies. Be it sports, hard labor, professional fighting, or military service we pay the price. Due to this my own mind and body has stolen my capacity for the dance of flame. Perhaps temporary, perhaps permanent, that is unknown factor at this time. It is the former I pray for and the latter I am frightened of.
It started so very long ago it seems, a random visit to a festival at a place called Wolvenwold. My girlfriend (now wife), decided to go out for the Beltane Festival, her first real pagan gathering. It was tent camping, open air music, vendors, the works. It was glorious save for dipping into the mid-twenties in the middle of the night which we were completely unprepared for. However, it was here, at this place, that a woman that went by Shotgun Witch introduced us to the glory that is spinning, that is fire dance. And we were instantly addicted.
You see, I got pulled out one evening while they were playing, was told to be still, and the fire was spun around my body. I felt not just heat, but living presence. I heard not only the roar, but the song of the flame. I saw not only trails of light in the darkness, but patterns woven of pure fire. And I knew, KNEW that I had to learn this. THIS would become my dedication to Papa, the dance would be my prayer. And I did learn, along side my wife.
It wasn’t long before we returned that we acquired the equipment to learn, and of course we chose to learn one of the more tricky tools, poi. We found an online site that had good ratings, good products, and all that we were looking for so we placed our order with Home of Poi, sat back, and waited. After just over a week or so the order arrived (the company is based in New Zealand), and our work began.
I will freely admit that I was so jealous of my partner, it seemed to come so very easily to her. She picked them up and almost immediately began to dance with them. I picked them up and immediately smacked myself in the face. My learning curve was the more difficult, but often she would be able to help by pointing out what I couldn’t see. I eventually got the basics and was so very happy! More advance techniques… still eluded me.
Then I heard Him. “You’re thinking too much. It’s fire. Quit trying to control it.” And I realized that was exactly what I had been doing. I began to treat it as a partner.
And I found “it”. That space, zone, place. And after a full year of practice, I lit up for the first time. Where I became one with the flame and could feel Loki in the fire, feel his approval. I would spin in backyards, parking lots, where ever and when ever I could. The song, the movement, it was pure spirit for me. We found others and learned proper safety techniques, would gather and play. The roar a song in the night, the flame a guide in the darkness.
Then I got a call that changed everything. A dear friend and a Saint Louis performer called in a panic that her fire spinner backed out at the last minute and wondered if my girlfriend and I would be interesting in filling in! I told her that I would have to check with my S.O. first, let me get back to her. I call my girlfriend, she agreed, and our course was set. We wound up spinning in front of a crowd, for a live pirate band at a local club. Yes, a pirate band called the Musical Blades. And we knew we could bring the joy of fire to others.
Performance was amazing, wearing the mask and developing the stage persona, my Lady was able to overcome her shyness and I my severe anxiety. It wasn’t us. It was Fyrebyrd and Loki’s Own. Our phrases became “Follow our light into the night” and “Find Your Fire”. And with that taste of the flame I wanted more. To know more, to be ever closer to the flame.
I learned fire eating. It didn’t require a lot of equipment, and the learning curve was fairly quick due to the instinctual fear of fire being faced already due to spinning poi. Soon I was able to not just eat, but hold the flaming torch in my teeth, and hold a flame on my tongue long enough for someone to light a cigarette off of. Yeah, I know, stupid human tricks. But with every new danger faced, every stunt mastered, I could feel Loki’s smile.
Fleshing came next. Quite literally applying fire to the flesh of my own body, creating what you see above. No, there is nothing protecting my arm, it was just fuel and fire and practice. Yes, there were some mistakes made and the marks were left to remember lessons learned. But creating fire trails on arms, legs, chest it was something intimate and all the closer. It was this idea that led me into fire painting, but will get to that momentarily.
After eating and fleshing, the next logical step was learning how to breathe fire. Now in all the fire play cabinet, breathing is possibly the MOST dangerous because of all that could possibly go wrong. So instead of experimentation and trial and error, I sought a teacher. I was lucky enough to find one, and an amazing one at that.
In the above photo, the woman Eva Lucien was my teacher and friend. She married Connor on the left and had a beautiful baby girl. She lost her fight with the Demons of Depression and became one with the fire not too long after this was taken. I will always thank her for the amazing gift she passed on to me. Eva, we will remember.
Now my techniques evolved over time. I began to become comfortable enough with my skills to bring others up as I had been brought up so long ago by Shotgun Witch. I would spin fire around people, bringing them into the dance. I would do duet poi with Fyrebyrd. I would do fleshing on others, particularly favoring bald people at shows and giving them flaming mohawks. It came to a point of wanting to share this gift that I stumbled across the idea of fire painting.
Now first know that at this time I didn’t realize that fire play was an actual fetish. Even after the was learned, it didn’t matter because what I did was spiritual in nature. I did research, found a fuel least likely to harm another person’s skin, practiced on myself techniques for applying, lighting, smothering. I learned that I would need a safety there with me. I did not charge others for this, it was something I would willingly share. Sometimes doing an open call at a festival, other times special invite only by what His words in my heart would tell me.
The space used would be private and closed off from observers as the subjects comfort was paramount to me and they would be topless (the flesh of the back was my canvas). Others could be present at the request of the subject, and consent was repeatedly confirmed. They were always fully aware of what I would do, step by step, gender didn’t matter. Candles were the only light, and I would take a moment to look and listen. The designs would come to me, their flesh would ask for the symbols. Sometimes it was Runes. Other times it was other sigils. The length of time allowed the burn to continue depended entirely on the skin of the person on my table.
Rarely did I encounter anyone whose skin wanted more than three. The worst damage ever caused was to a person whose skin was exceedingly soft and very pale. It was the equivalent of a sunburn. For 24 hours they carried the spiral of the Labyrinth on their flesh.
I would often go into a near trance like state during this, communing with the flesh and spirit. Listening with my own heart to what was being asked for, needed. And the reactions I have had on my table have ranged from “That was nice” to needing a towel to clean the table, and not from fuel leaking. But the whole point was to use the element and if even for a split second connect the participant to the spirit. And with every person, every sigil, I was honoring Loki at least to me.
I cannot begin to speak of how much I miss the flame. How much I miss the song and the communion. It was the closest I felt to Loki, and the trust I was shown did NOT go unnoticed. The fire was always my devotional, every maneuver a prayer. But now it is your turn to burn. To find your call. To quote SJ Tucker’s song “Firebird’s Child”, If you are brave enough to fly, you’re brave enough to burn.
The past few entries have been a bit on the darker side of things as my personal life will tend to color my writing. For those that have recently tuned in some time ago I had a breaking ritual performed, and what I expected to happen was that old chains would be broken, weights removed, bindings removed. And I realized that a good number I had placed there myself in order to face the daily mundane world. To please others in my life, to keep friends, to not scare others away, to not be looked at as weird or insane. That’s what I expected.
What happened was the rite went as planned, breaking all those things loose and setting them free. What I didn’t realize was that this was just the beginning of a journey, one that I am still on. At 43 I have inadvertently undertaken a spiritual journey the end of which I have no clue as to what will lead me too other than a wholeness. Granted, I will still be broken and cracked, but with work and a touch of luck will also be whole. This series of writings are a part of that journey in a way. It is allowing me to get my thoughts out and the reason I chose this format is that I thought just maybe my experience might be able to help another.
Let me say that I have walked with Loki as my patron for a long while now and it has been and continues to be one amazing ride. Highs and lows, good and bad, dark and light, I have walked many paths. This life, this path has allowed me the chance to do a great many things and continue to do so. In a later blog I may relate some of the adventures I have had, but for now let’s just say that this boy from back-woods Missouri has gotten to see more of the world than I ever dreamed possible. And I admit that without the influence of Loki in my life I wouldn’t have had a quarter of these experiences.
He has rarely demanded much of me, to live as best I can. To be kind where there was none. To not fear the darker places. To allow myself to change and grow instead of locking myself into a static form or place. But I am starting to feel the call of the Sage (Warrior, Traveler, Sage similar to Maiden, Mother, Crone) as I grow older. I know that this journey is meant to be and will be transformational for myself and my life. I have realized that I am and always have been Demisexual. I have since performed other rituals that continue to ripple outward as part of this particular journey.
The Ritual of Severing that I performed in order to cut myself away from the place from my childhood where abuse began and my sense of self-worth was shattered at a very young age had reaching effects I didn’t expect. Now, yes I offered up a sacrifice during this. One of my own pain and flesh, that will leave a permanent scar. A severing was occurring throughout my life-path, not just my childhood. Abuses throughout my life began to resurface, things I thought I had dealt with but in truth had only faced long enough to shove in a box and chain it shut. Over the course of days they all opened and came screaming out.
The Ritual of Connection was performed in order to re-connect me with loved ones and remove the ones that were toxic. It was also during this that I rededicated myself to Loki, reaffirming my devotion. In the middle of a state park, sitting above the opening to a natural cave. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried many tears during this. And since this my circles of trusted friends has grown smaller, but those that remain have more than proven themselves time and again. The hurt and pain I feel at the loss of others is VERY real, and I acknowledge that loss. Grieve it. But it is what it is and there can be no going back, only forward.
For now I reflect. I write. I spend time with the Adorable Overlord (my 3 year old daughter, aka Bug). I spend time with my wife who has stood by my side through so very very much. I write some more. And while I wait for Loki to speak to my heart of the next ritual, I move forward in my life.
My physical health has been declining for some time now, and I have spent a great deal of time at the VA trying to get answers and find out if this state I find myself in is going to be my new “normal” or if it is something that can be treated and worked past. I personally hope for the latter, because one of the things that brought me such joy I am no longer able to do. Dance with fire. For me, it was a spiritual devotional everytime I would spin with the flame. I never tried to control it, only to move with it. I gave it plenty of respect, but no fear. Yes, there were accidents and there were victories. And the more I learned the greater the craving became to know more. I wound up eating and fleshing and breathing fire. But I can no longer, and my soul misses it. Longs and aches for the sound, the heat, the communion.
As Lokeans our very Wyrd can bring change with it for those we are connected to, which has been my experience. I cannot count the number of times that I have joined various in real life groups and they implode within months. And it is always a sad matter, hurtful, and no one involved is immune to this. Yet it always seems to need to happen.
Chaos will tend to follow in our wake, for good or for ill, but rarely without purpose. How many of us have looked around asking, “How the Hel did I get into this?”, only to hear a chuckle in the back of our mind. Friendships and loyalty are tried and tested, forged in fire and truth, and those that make it through are like tempered steel. They can be counted on and leaned on when needed. They will keep us safe, but are unfortunately the exception and not the rule at least in my life.
Scapegoat, villain, bad guy, or the shamed are often what Lokeans eventually become in their communities. I personally have found myself in positions where I am put in charge of something or given a trust be those I barely know to which I respond, “You do understand I’m Lokean, right?”. And rarely does anything ever turn out as expected, but the “thing” gets done and others are happy.
Yet there are those that aren’t and won’t be. Or the chaotic wake that follows us causes spectacular explosions that leave none unscathed, ourselves included in that. Loki can be a right bastard at times, the loss hurting deeply and we come to find out that the situations was toxic the entire time. Others exploiting us for kindness mistaken as weakness. The willingness to help treated as meaning we are easy to walk over.
While not the Nine Noble Virtues, we aren’t followers of the Aesir. These Nine Tenets by Dagulf Loptson sum up being Lokean fairly well. Tenets that will help us grow and develop not only as Lokeans but as people. The only thing that I would add would be Loyalty. Loyalty to those that have proven to deserve it, but even that can be broken and when that happens to a group all too often we stand there going “WTF?” as we look at the bits and pieces scattered everywhere. Those we thought Loyal and True friends readily turning on us.
Which finally brings me around to the title. Aftermath. How do we cope, how can we deal with hurt after hurt after hurt? We tend to be a cracked bunch to begin with and are used to picking up the mess. Your choice then becomes to do so with a sigh and lesson learned or with indignation and a hurt pride. And the fallout can last for weeks or even months, touching on people you never expected.
See, the ripple in the puddle effect is more than real. Reaching out in ways that we can only guess at, causing vibrations along a web so few can even feel let alone see. Because of the patron so many of us follow we tend to have to be cautious lest we cause more issues that needed because Papa will keep us on our toes. We don’t need to add to it.
Personally I have a driving need to “fix it”, to help those that appear to need it, and it has seen me taken advantage of more than once in my life. Used and then discarded, and it has gotten to me. So one lesson I have learned is that if I am going to have to deal with fallout I will do so on MY terms because I willingly caused the explosion. Aftermath? I warned you when we met I was Lokean. Your fault for not asking questions, not mine. I for one refuse to be the one to shoulder the entirety of the burden for mistakes others make. Aftermath? Pull up a chair and watch the fireworks, if any try to lay all the blame at my feet I’ll kneecap them with a baseball bat. I personally have reached a limit. What about you? Will you continue to be the target or will you stand and take your place among Giants?
Title get your attention? Good. Come in for a minute, have a seat. No, that one is trapped. The other one. Cookie or brownie? Home-made and yes I have milk. I’m a Villain, not a cretin. Why yes, I am Lokean, thank you for asking. Oh don’t worry, deary, if I stab you it will be from the front. Tea or Mead? So you have come to talk about being the Villain, I would say get comfortable, but you look too nervous.
Yes, there are monsters in the darkness. Yes, there are beasts in the forests. And yes, there is corruption in this world. Many folk of Heathen traditions would name these the fault of Loki and Lokeans (those who follow Him as patron). Yet we have been there forever, since the beginning. We who would do what was needed, not what was right. Not stealing is right. Stealing to feed a child is needed. We may not always bare the name Lokean, or even Villain, but we are there all the same.
There are so many out there that would see the world as black and white, right and wrong, a set way of doing things and anything else is abomination. Yes that includes Heathens and Pagans. I have watched a young Wiccan berated, in public, by an elder because they dared to call their favored element first. It was out of order! The entire Ritual was ruined! That poor student was reduced to tears. From my point of view? That “elder” had a lesson of their own coming. Entirely not my fault that their clothing and towels disappeared just as the hot water cut out in the shower house.
Let’s look at what a Villain is shall we? They are the ones that do “evil” so that the hero has a reason to be. They are the ones that sacrifice everything for the sake of making the hero look good and a moral lesson to be learned. That show that anything outside the normal is wicked. Different is something to be shunned and kept the community away from. That only light and beauty are “good”. That anything that looks strange must be “bad”. A Villain is more like Moriarty from the Holmes tales than a Freddy Kruger. You see a true Villain has a code of actions that while flexible, are never crossed. They see the world in a hundred shades of gray, and know that “good” and “evil” are human conceptions that don’t actually have a place in nature. “Light” and “Dark” certainly, and the Villain will lean toward the Dark.
Allow me to ask you a question. You are trapped in your home by a group that means to kill all the adults and sell all the children into slavery. You have one individual talking about taking the fight to them and going out in the blaze of glory. Then you have another individual in a corner saying hunker down and I’ll deal with this while smiling and holding a knife. I know who I would rather let have a go, don’t you? Yes, please have another cookie, my wife made them.
The Villain does what is needed, and this includes our own Loki. The doer of Good and Evil. God of Mischief. Gods of Asgard about to lose everything? Loki turns into a mare and not only seduces the stallion that was allowing the work to be done, but comes back later with a foal that carries Odin himself. Causes trouble that winds up solving even greater problems that no one could see for themselves because they were blinded by honor. Even Thor, named Man-friend, is a storm God whose storms would KILL those he calls friend were it not for the gift of fire from sly Loki.
The Villain will kill when it is needed, not shying from doing the dirty work and often for a greater cause. So why do they attempt to kill the Hero? Because the Hero must have an adversary. Sometimes it’s an Oppressor, a Tyrant, or a Beast. But the Villain? They are always the one to survive and return. Makes for good stories, ones that last through the years, to have someone who will return to threaten once again, almost like an old friend.
So looking toward Loki and Heathenry, isn’t He the one to start Ragnarok? Yes. He does. Now, first look around this world as it is today. It IS beautiful and majestic and completely infested with humanity. If we don’t get our collective shit together, don’t we deserve it? As a species that is only at the apex due to our intellect we have taken this gem of a world and are killing it faster and faster every year. Second, look at what exactly drove Loki to being chained to the rock. His own children killed in front of him, one turned into a beast to slay the other and that one slain in turn. His grand crime? He spoke the truth and was betrayed for it. Ragnarok isn’t the end, never does it say that. Twilight of the Gods, yes, but not the end. Many will die, as all things must do so. What some would call apocalypse would be justice through a different lens, or even a turning of the wheel to others.
So, here we are, at Villainy itself. Why would someone turn to it? As many reasons as there are stars in the sky. Just as a Hero can start of guided by negative purposes (what you thought revenge or vengeance a good thing? well you are already half-way there), so to does the Villain. Cut from the same cloth as it were. The difference are the choices made, the lessons learned. And your point of view. Who says the Hero isn’t truly the Villain to others? Or just the opposite?
Done? Here, let me get that for you. No, no poison, I swear. You came for learning, not harm. Join me for dinner? Excellent, the chef does wonders with Haunch of Hero!
As always this is entirely my own views and opinions, so if there is any hurt feelings sorry, not sorry. Keep moving cupcake.
I have had an absolute shit couple of weeks (I know, I know tell us how you really feel) and it has brought a LOT of things to my attention, not only about myself and others, but as the larger culture as a whole, at least here in the United States. From government to entertainment to any professional setting you can imagine, not just social and inter-personal. And some of the problems are all ones that could be stopped in the home, in the family unit. Continue this in the public education arena, and we might stand a chance.
Let’s start with a phrase that I have truly grown to despise, “Boys will be boys”. That is Bullshit and the basis for so much toxicity that you would puke. This phrase has been used to excuse rapists, abusers, murderers, and many others. Far too many. It is essentially saying that the male of our species has no control over their actions and are essentially animals unable to control their own impulses, that just happen to have majority control over the government. Scared? Good. You should be.
As a penis-keeper myself, I am not controlled by it. I choose my actions, and when and where to act on my impulses. If you can train a dog not to eat a steak without permission, you can teach a man it’s a bad idea to hit anyone without immediate threat to themselves or others. They can grasp the understanding that genitalia does not make someone lesser. Of course that is just a step away from the idea that if they are human, they should all be treated the same…
Women have been conditioned that this behavior is ok and you let it slide. Don’t speak out, don’t make waves, or else no one will like you. In nearly every business or profession women are seen as lesser even in 2019, and that is just sick. Sex makes money, therefore you are forced into standards of what is beauty and desirable. Yes, the sex trade is one of the oldest professions known. It has only been villainized in the past few centuries. It is still a thing to poke fun at body positivity in just about every circle there is, from professional to fandoms. Objectification is real, still exists, and is beyond toxic. The glass ceiling is a real thing and while a few find their way past it, most cannot.
And men have it just the same. A chest like a barrel and abs that look like the top of a six-pack of cheap beer. Hips leading up to shoulders in a “V” and Gods all forbid if/when you get that soft circle around the middle. Glasses? Only recently has it become ok. And when are these lines really enforced in the mind? Around high-school when hormones are raging and the brain is in the last stages of development, these toxic ideas are stuck in there from media to the school room for both and all genders.
Still having a difficult time? Remember that a man that reports as the victim of domestic abuse is just as likely to be laughed out of a police station as they are to be taken serious, and even then it isn’t seen as a “real” threat. There was a meme going about asking, “Ladies, what would you do if you wanted sex but your man didn’t?”. The answers turned my stomach because they were nearly all the same. Take it anyway. If they really didn’t want it their body wouldn’t react. You do know that is the same as saying that if a woman didn’t want to be raped, her body has a way of shutting it down right?
Which brings me to the factor that I have two daughters and four sisters. ANY woman that steps forward and claims abuse I will listen to and believe. These words are NOT meant to belittle feminism or the #MeToo movement in any way at all! This movement is so very important as it is shining the light on all abused, women, men, and children. It is giving strength in places it is needed most and I for one will always support it.
Now what do we do about this? How do we change or fix it? Well, my first impulse is NOT the example to follow as my way would take anyone that treats others this poorly into the street and set them on fire. No, that just wouldn’t do. So what we do is teach, we live by example, and apathy must stop. No more of the “not my concern” mentality. Guys if someone treated your Mom or sister with such disregard, what would you do? Ladies, if it was your Dad or brothers? And Lord forbid you are somewhere along the gender fluidity lines, then you are a target for all the assholes of both sides. “OK Darlene, what’s in my pants is sooo important yet isn’t that your son punching his sister in the head?”
You each and every one have a voice. Use it. Many of you are Lokeans, so if you find yourself in a place to speak out, and you are scared, don’t be afraid to shame others into standing with you. My last post spoke of me seeing myself as Morally Grey. Well this is one of those times. I will use manipulation and shame like a precision tool to stop abuse when I see it. I will use fear and terror on those that would cause it. And I won’t hesitate to spill blood in defense of another.
In this I am a proud doer of good and evil.
Update: Ok, so I wrote this after far too long awake and have gone through and made some edits now that I have had a chance to read it with a fully cognitive and non-nightmare fueled brain.